St. John's

As a parent, my constant frustration with my 3 year old is his constant disobedience.  Doesn’t he understand that when I tell him to do something, I mean it.  Not because I want to rule over him and make his life miserable, but because it's what’s best for him.  When I tell him to clean his toys up, it’s because I want to teach him to take care of what has been given to him.  When I tell him to go to bed, it’s because I know that he needs sleep otherwise he will get sick.  When I tell him that he can’t have ice cream for breakfast, it’s not because I want to ruin his life, but because I care for him.  When I tell him for the millionth time to sit quietly in church, it’s because I want to teach him the importance of worship.  I swear if I hear him tell me NO one more time, I think my eyes will pop out of my head. 

His constant disobedience is so frustrating and sometimes it’s not just an adolescent emotional response.  Sometimes it’s calculated and planned.  I watch him sit and think about it and the consequences that will inevitably come if he disobeys and yet he goes right on ahead and does it.  This is not the first time I have shared this frustration and almost every time I do,  I hear from other parents, “It’s only going to get worse.”  Oh Great, I can’t wait! 

 If he would just listen to me things would go so much better for him. Why does he struggle against me? Doesn’t he know I am his dad and I love him?

Sound familiar? The most painful part of all of this is the realization that I am really no different than my son.  Nothing has really changed in me over the last 30 years since I was 3, except the context.  My parents don’t tell me what to do anymore, but others do.  The Government does, occasionally Pastor Jeff does, my wife will occasionally will venture out on this limb and I don’t like it one bit.  When they tell me what to do, my first and sometimes over whelming  reaction is to say NO! 

And then there is the struggle against my Father.  I know that I am constantly disobedient.  I know that my Father desires what’s best for me and I even know that His will is obviously what is best for me.  He is God after all.   I know all of this and yet he tells me what his will for me is as a husband, father, pastor,  friend and just as often as not I am like a 3 year old blurting out defiantly, “NO!” And it’s not always an adolescent emotional response, sometimes it is calculating thought out dis-obedience.  I know the consequences, I know his will is what’s best for me and yet I go ahead anyways and defy Him.  What is wrong with me, why do I do this this?

I love my Son more than I thought it would be possible to love any one.  And it’s this love for my son that keeps my eyes from popping out. Even though sometimes I feel like just giving up, I fight the fight. I follow through with the consequences that I don’t like to dole out.  I do this because it is what’s best for him.  I do this because I love him, despite his constant dis-obedience.  He can’t do anything that would change this. 

And if this is why you and I as parents or grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends or family do this for the one’s you love, how much greater is the commitment and love of our Father.  Our Father who loved his Son, yet doled out the consequences of constant disobedience or sin and sacrificed him for all.  Even though I can’t seem to kick this spirit of rebellion that wells up within me, I am so grateful for the gracious love of my Father.  I am so glad that he sticks with me. I am so thankful that he continues to discipline me and follow through with the consequences of my dis-obedience.  I am so grateful that he fights the fight with me and has promised to never let me go and I am so humbled He has given me a son so that I can catch a glimpse of what it means to have a Father.  My greatest prayer is that as my son grows he will daily be grateful for the love of his Father, your Father, my Father, Our Father.   Amen.